WANTED: A Friend.

So, I was up and about last Thursday. I went home early, as in super early (don't ask.) Then went to sleep after like a couple of episodes on Charmed Season 8. Then woke around 12 noon to get ready to go to People Support to get my back pay. Yeah after gazillion years I finally had it. And it was not the amount I was expecting as it was too low. My God, I worked my ass there for almost 4 years and that's how they will repay me. Oh well, I don't even want to divulge how much because it's so not worth it. Anyway, I was too tired to argue and signed the quit-from-the-company form and that's it! I'm done with PS. Goodbye forever. Anyway, that's a whole different story. Plus, I don't want to dwell on it since I've got more pressing issues to deal with. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

So where was I? Oh, so before I went to People Support, I texted and or called like 20 or more people on my phonebook wondering if they can go malling or have coffee with me, since I don't want to waste my "Thanksgiving" night sleeping. But you know what? As in none of those people are available. NADA. I mean for someone who has TONS of friends, surprisingly not one of them are available. Well, except for EL who went to Starbucks with me to have coffee and chat a little to catch up. Either they have other plans or they don't want to go because of an errand, or they just don't want to go period. It felt like that I run out of friends that day - LITERALLY. Of course being the over analytical thinker that I am, I had lots on my mind that are not to good to even shere here and made me really, really, really sad. I mean, for someone who has never been alone in all my life, this is the first- no actually the second time that it happened. Like I said to my self the other day, it's 2001 all over again. I got no one while everybody else is busy having the time of their lives or are just plain busy. Hey, I have nothing against ALL my friends. I swear, to all of you I know you are all happy and have lives to live and I respect that. I am truly and sincerely very happy for all of you, I swear to God. But sometimes I just can't help but feel sorry for myself when these things happen to me. I don't know maybe this is God's way of telling me to be strong-er. Or He's just preparing me for my future - my destiny. Oh I don't know. My destiny to be alone forever. Ok, I can hear someone murmuring I'm too melodramtic. But who knows? That might just happen. But hey, this happened 6 years ago and I survived it, so I guess this wouldn't hurt. Oh whatever. My point is, I just don't know what to do, I'm scared and I am so not used to this. But! I don't have a choice, don't I?

But for whatever it's worth, talking to EL just made me realize about a couple of things and he unconsciously validated some of the things that I have trouble accepting. He was able to unconsciously help me in ways he may never realize. So EL, thank you! :) Have fun with Lisa, and keep on walking those 10,000 steps (in Glorietta or Greenbelt...) a day! hahaha

I don't now why I keep on doing this to myself, though I know that these causes sleepless nights, headaches and heart burn. hahaha Go figure. Whew! This has got to stop, well that's what I keep on telling myself but for some reason I can't.

But one thing I remembered before, I survived because of friends. And I think that's just what I need. A friend.

So there.