Sick and Tired.... and BORED!!!

It has been 4 days since I went to the doctor and was ordered not to go anywhere besides my bedroom and the kitchen. hehehe Seriously, I was on total bed rest for the rest of this week until next week, well until all (Lab) tests are done. Believe me, it was cool at first but as time progresses, I was actually thinking of buying all the dvds in Imus just to get through one day, plus I really can't sleep well because it's at night when it strikes the most. I feel very tired and exhausted and I always catch my breath that I would just cry myself until the Holy Spirit lets me sleep. Good thing my brother is always here to take care of me. If he hears that I am in pain he'd immediately check on me in my room and bring me anything that I need. hehehe I have a personal nurse. My back is already aching like crazy. I can't tell if it's because I cough so much or because I lie on the bed too much. Oh God. It's really hard!

I wish that I get well. I'm pretty sure I will, ako pa! But in the last 4 days I've been having doubts in my capabilities of overcoming this. I still need to go through some series of tests next week to see what's really wrong with me then the verdict. I'm sooo scared right now I might cry but I won't (hehe gulo). I have to face everyday like a normal day. Besides at least I can get to rest :)

And oh, I didn't wish for any of these to happen to me.

WANTED: A Friend.

So, I was up and about last Thursday. I went home early, as in super early (don't ask.) Then went to sleep after like a couple of episodes on Charmed Season 8. Then woke around 12 noon to get ready to go to People Support to get my back pay. Yeah after gazillion years I finally had it. And it was not the amount I was expecting as it was too low. My God, I worked my ass there for almost 4 years and that's how they will repay me. Oh well, I don't even want to divulge how much because it's so not worth it. Anyway, I was too tired to argue and signed the quit-from-the-company form and that's it! I'm done with PS. Goodbye forever. Anyway, that's a whole different story. Plus, I don't want to dwell on it since I've got more pressing issues to deal with. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

So where was I? Oh, so before I went to People Support, I texted and or called like 20 or more people on my phonebook wondering if they can go malling or have coffee with me, since I don't want to waste my "Thanksgiving" night sleeping. But you know what? As in none of those people are available. NADA. I mean for someone who has TONS of friends, surprisingly not one of them are available. Well, except for EL who went to Starbucks with me to have coffee and chat a little to catch up. Either they have other plans or they don't want to go because of an errand, or they just don't want to go period. It felt like that I run out of friends that day - LITERALLY. Of course being the over analytical thinker that I am, I had lots on my mind that are not to good to even shere here and made me really, really, really sad. I mean, for someone who has never been alone in all my life, this is the first- no actually the second time that it happened. Like I said to my self the other day, it's 2001 all over again. I got no one while everybody else is busy having the time of their lives or are just plain busy. Hey, I have nothing against ALL my friends. I swear, to all of you I know you are all happy and have lives to live and I respect that. I am truly and sincerely very happy for all of you, I swear to God. But sometimes I just can't help but feel sorry for myself when these things happen to me. I don't know maybe this is God's way of telling me to be strong-er. Or He's just preparing me for my future - my destiny. Oh I don't know. My destiny to be alone forever. Ok, I can hear someone murmuring I'm too melodramtic. But who knows? That might just happen. But hey, this happened 6 years ago and I survived it, so I guess this wouldn't hurt. Oh whatever. My point is, I just don't know what to do, I'm scared and I am so not used to this. But! I don't have a choice, don't I?

But for whatever it's worth, talking to EL just made me realize about a couple of things and he unconsciously validated some of the things that I have trouble accepting. He was able to unconsciously help me in ways he may never realize. So EL, thank you! :) Have fun with Lisa, and keep on walking those 10,000 steps (in Glorietta or Greenbelt...) a day! hahaha

I don't now why I keep on doing this to myself, though I know that these causes sleepless nights, headaches and heart burn. hahaha Go figure. Whew! This has got to stop, well that's what I keep on telling myself but for some reason I can't.

But one thing I remembered before, I survived because of friends. And I think that's just what I need. A friend.

So there.

Sick

I feel sick today.

I really can't tell if I am sick of my life or my work or I'm just sick period.

And the christmas songs played in malls are not helping..... Haaaaaay.

So there.

NOSTALGIA

I feel nostalgic today.

I miss those times na hindi pa komplikado ang buhay ko. Lahat masaya. Nung times na ang kakapal pa ng mga kilay namin nila Tina. hehehe Nung nag-aala Jolina Magdangal ako sa hairdo. Nung siga pa si Yheng sa school pero hearthrob naman. Nung "darag queens" pa si Mhia at si Olai. Nung goody-two shoes pa ako, si Abby at si Tsiki. Nung mahirap hagilapin si Marj. Hmmm hanggang ngayon naman mahirap hagilapin yun eh. hahaha

Nung times na wala kaming inatupag kungdi mag-aral (NAKS) at manuod ng basketball sa gym. Nung times na hate na hate namin ang klase ni Mr. Eng. Nung takot na takot kami kay Ms. Mariano dahil nuknukan ng terror. Nung time na never ending ang lecture notes ni Mr. Gabriel sa Chem. At shempre pa ang kainan sa Audio-visual room na kala mo nanunuod ng sine. hahaha Yung time na bago pumasok at bago umuwe eh tatambay muna kina Kuya Tony para kumain. WAAAAAAAAAAH. Those were the good 'ol days. Simple lang pero rock.

At ngayon, as in today... well, ito surviving. Wala lang naisip ko lang kasi narinig ko ang "theme song" (oo na baduy na kung baduy) ng barkada:

"Count on me through think and thin
A friendship I will never end
When you are weak, I will be strong
Helping you to carry on
Call on me, I will be there
Don't be afraid
Please believe me when I say
Count on..."

So there.

SKRIP

Ano ka ba naman? Alam mo naman na hindi habambuhay eh may kasama ka noh?

Alam ko naman yun, ang akin lang sana naman meron sa oras na kailangan ko.

Eh alam mo naman pala eh ano palang ine-emote mo diyan?

Wala... parang ang unfair lang kasi.

Alin na naman ang unfair?

Bakit sila lang eh paano naman ako?

Alam mo, labo mo. Tandaan mo dapat sa buhay matuto kang tumayo mag-isa dahil sooner or later wala ka ng ibang kakampi kungdi sarili mo. Ngayon kung pati sarili mo kalaban mo na rin, aba eh kawawa ka naman.

Weh, sabi ko nga.

Ayan diyan ka magaling, pag alam mong tama ako ganyan na lang ang nasasabi mo, sana nakikinig ka, hindi yung pasok sa kanang tenga tapos labas din sa kabila. Bale wala.

Eh hindi naman ninyo ako naiintindihan.

Kasi ang gulo mo magpaliwanag.

Sorry lang.

Piece of advice, no man is an island pero hindi sa lahat ng panahon may kasama ka, dadating ang panahon na kailangan mong lakarin ang buhay ng mag-isa.

Fine.

Bahala ka nga jan!

~ hahaha pwede na bang script writer?.

Dasal

Lord,

Nawa'y kayanin ko pa.

Amen.

Friendster Horoscope for November 5, 2007

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)

The Bottom Line

The level of romance in your life is about to go up, up, up! Anything is possible.

In Detail

A hot romance that is going on in someone else's life could be causing you to turn a bit green with envy -- but why? Take a look at what you've got going on right now and you'll soon see that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Stop obsessing about what is missing from your life, and start appreciating what you have. You have a lot, and there are plenty of people who wish they were you. Your time will come, but in the meantime you must live in the moment.

~ayan, ang mga bituin na ang nagsasabi. Fine.