i hate me.

i always say in most of my weekend entries that "it was one of the most memorable blah, blah, blah". which is true. but what happend last weekend was different - very different and yes, one of the weekends that i will NEVER EVER forget in my entire life. i don't think that i can talk about it now. i'm not ready. maybe i'll write what happend, maybe nOt. as of this time i'm still trying to get over it somehOw. but hey! i know i'll get by, this isn't the first time i have been through a tOugh [and i mean TOUGH] time, believe me :D

sOmething happened over the weekend that i am not sooo very proud of. it greatly affected everything - my priorities, my relationship with members of the family, my way of thinking, my whOLe life in general. it had made me realize a lot of things... how important presence of mind is, how important it is to save [:D], how i am responsible for every actions i make. hOW i love my parents [and grand parents] so much. hOW i value my friends. my gOd. i've realized them all in one day. grabe. these are the things i over looked. things that i almost never paid attention to because i was too complacent. i knOw that everything happens fOr a reason and what happened over the weekend was not an exception. i just need to find out what it is.. i know finding the reason for all these will not come overnight, it may take weeks, months or even years.. maybe gOd was asking me to slOw down. maybe he's telling me to seek him, kasi nakakalimutan kO na sha sa bilis ng takbO ng buhay ko. but whatever it is i am so eager to know what the reasons are.

dOn't get me wrOng i'm perfectly ok, maybe you're just not used to read entries here in a serious [???} manner.. [:D] basta, what happened will not stOp me frOm living life. i'm trying my best to stay the way i was before it happened. i'm cool. i'm good. i can't [yet] say that i've never been better but i know someday i will. time heals, right? so, there :D

PS. on the brighter side of LIFE, i am sooo happy for my fren mai. hehehe after all the sh*t that happened, at least someone important in my life is extremely happy. buti naman.