hALo-HaLO

on our way home this morning, annuh, josa and i heard this song called "do you really want me" by robyn. bigla ko tuloy naalala ang highschool life! : ) we were singing it like no one can see us, hehehe but it was great, i felt good afterwards. while singing the song, nag-flash back ang memories. kung ganu lang kasimple ang buhay dati, kung ganu kasaya. but then i again, reality check.. i'm 23 years old turning 24 in about 23 days! ewan ko ba i'm scared, kasi malapit na ang finish line. *wink* my close friends know what i mean by that, anyway so un na nga finish line na, so what will happen? wenu ngayon? as if naman ikakamatay ko naman ang pagdating ng araw na un? siguro naman hindi. what's the worse that can happen? eh malamang lang na malungkot na naman ako't maawa sa sarili, pero hanggang ganun lang tapos nun tapos na. wala na ulit. move on with mah life ulit ang drama ko hehehe. anyhow, malayu-layo pa naman un and many, many things can happen in a year so let's see.

---

i'm so glad meteor garden's back! as in. solid dao ming si fan ako, who cares about justin or martin? [hehehe naku dami gagalit sa kin nito!] pero anyway, i'm just so glad na meron akong isang dahilan para ma-excite gumising before going to makati and answer crappy calls! : ) gaya nga ng sabi ko kay josa, marinig ko pa lang yung fei de yi na song kinikilig na ko! oa no? but hey yun talaga nararamdaman ko. iniisip ko nga sana totoong may F4 or better yet totoong may dao ming si tapos friends ko sila. ang saya siguro. oh well, as if that could happen. but in case that happens hay nako mag-aala san chai ako para mapansin nila ko! hahaha ang cheesy ng thought hindi bagay sa 'kin. para bang hindi makatotohanan. mantakin mo, sa katawan pa lang hindi na kami pareho ni san chai. hehehe

---

at habang ako'y nanunuod ng meteor garden tumawag ang little prince charming ko. ayoko man sagutin ang phone but it was he's 3rd attempt to try and reach me. followed by a text message saying na:" mukhang busy ka yata hindi mo sinasagot yung cellphone mo?" awwww. shempre nag-guilt trip na naman ako. kahit na gusto kong mag-concentrate sa panonuod eh sinagot ko na ang phone ko. ayun, kwentuhan to the max na naman and yes you are right, about the same topics. in fairness when we are talking about our dads, nagulat ako ng sabihin nia sa akin na ang swerte ko dahil cool ang daddy ko, na buti pa ako kasi masayahin ang tatay ko unlike yung dad nia na authoritative ang dating. mejo strict and stiff. although hindi naman sha galit sa tatay nia sabi nia nakalakihan lang daw talaga nilang magkakapatid ang environment na mejo strikto ang dating. don't get me wrong he loves his dad so much and he respects him too kaya lang natutuwa sha sa daddy ko na mejo joker chaka cool. oh well it runs in the blood i guess : ) but one thing i realized, it made me appreciate my daddy more. gosh, can't wait to get home and hug my daddy. sabi nga nia i'll always be his baby gurl... so, there.

crisis

i don't feel good today. [lagi naman eh...] siguro dahil bago umalis sila mommy ko eh mag-kaaway kami. tapos puyat na naman ako. ewan ko ba, sana ma-coma ako ng mga 2 weeks para naman makapagpahinga ako ng todo. eh kasi kahit mag-leave naman ako eh gumagana pa rin ang isip ko, so ganun din. ang komplikado pala maging adult. tama yung sabi nila minsan ka lang magiging bata kaya dapt i-enjoy mo na. samantalang dati nagmamadali akong tumanda. haaaay.

kanina binabasa ko ung blog ng friend ko, naka-relate na naman ako. pareho kami na may iniisip at pinuproblema. katulad nia hindi ko rin makuhang i-share sa iba kasi ayaw ko lang mag-elaborate at nahihiya din kasi akong mag-salita. not only that, when i finally got the courage to tell someone, nagchichiken out naman ako. feeling ko kasi pagtatawanan lang ako chaka baka sabihin lang i'm just being ridiculous and sh*t. hehehe whatever. funny thing, hindi halata dun sa friend kong yun na may iniisip shang problem kasi masayahin sha, i seriously want to help kasi i know the feeling, ang hirap kaya but then again if he shares the same sentiment as mine mahihirapan talaga din shang mag-share. plus ako nga hindi ko matulungan ang sarili ko manggugulo pa ako ng ibang tao? oh well. that's me. mas gusto kong problemahin yung problema ng iba instead of mine.

**shucks ang aga ng lunch ko, 11pm. first break pa lang nung iba lunch ko na, anyhow yaan mo na i need to be flexible para hindi mag-suffer ang buong team... SHET. parang tunay ah. hehehe**

on the brighter side of life, dumaan na naman ang isa ko pang crush sa floor! : ) guess who. hehehe basta cute sha and a very neat dresser. kaya lang i'm sure he doesn't even know i exist.. wenu naman keri lang, at least i have something [or someone] to look forward to pagpapasok ako to work everyday. sana hindi sha kagad sumuko sa account namin para magtagal pa sha dito. at pansin ko these past few days eh tenshunado yung client kaya pati she tenshunado rin, good for me kasi lagi tuloy shang palakd-lakad to check on the sups and more importantly to check on with our TM na nasa likod ko lang... hehehehe

nga pala, excited na akong mag-RD! punta kasi akong silang to get my dog. there enough said! : )

the EK adventure

i went to EK last saturday [april 30th] together with my friends in the office [abi, steffy, tenten, jemai and mabs]. though i really don't like amusement parks [kasi duwag ako sa mga rides..] i really had a nice time. super nakakapagod dahil we headed to EK ng halos walang tulog. jemai and i meet up with the rest in coastal mall at around 2pm. shempre on our way picture taking. thanks to steffy's and abi's digital cameras. official soundtrack? NINA live album. very lively no?! hehehe i mean for a group of people na wala pang tulog galing work mas maganda yata na mejo hip-hop-yish ung music namin... : ) i think we arrived in sta. rosa at 430pm.

ang balak ko talaga ung tig-100php lang na ticket ang bibilin ko kasi hindi naman ako magra-rides but i ended up buying the ticket worth 500php kasi feeling ko maiingit ako sa kanila. unang ride namin sa flying fiesta, ridiculous man pero bago ung ride super kinakabahan kaya ako. ewan ko ba? ang laki kong duwagers... : ) tapos while waiting sa pila to rialto picture taking ulit, hanggang sa loob! pero nung magyaya na sila sa anchor's away, hindi na shempre ako sumama dahil hindi ko un kakayanin, aba lalu naman sa space shuttle kaya mega hintay ako sa mga lola mo dahil shempre mahaba ung pila dun. e2 ang hindi ko natanggihan - LOG JAM. kainis nanginginig talaga ako pagkatapos ng ride na yun. as in. nagmamatapang ako nung una BUT NO! feeling ko katapusan ko na. oa noh? pero totoo un. nuod din kami ng fireworks display that lasted i think about 5 minutes. sabi ni jemai para sa kanya daw un for his recent promotion as QA analyst.. shoray da barge?! [congrats ulit jemai!!!] umalis lang kami nung narinig na namin ung magic words..."the park is now closing" ... saya nga eh, kahit na parang binigyan ko lang yung EK ng 500php [hehehe] dahil hindi naman ako mashadong sumakay ng rides, eh nag-enjoy ako ng sobra because of the people i was with..

...at sana hanggang dun na lang yung kwento ko, but no. since nakakaramdam na talaga lahat ng pagod at antok, we decided to buy coffee at starbucks, kahit anung branch basta yung unang starbucks na makita namin. so ayun while driving along south super, i was hearing something funny sa right passenger side ng car but since nina's singing my favorite song dinedma ko lang. nung makakita ako ng SHELL gas station [e2 ha bago ko pa isulat 'to pinagtalunan na namin kung anung gasolinahan kami nagpa-gas at bumili ng coffe, hehehe] nagpa-gas na kami at dahil addict kami ni jemai sa caffeine bumili kami ng kape sa starbucks.. and BANG! pagbalik ko sa car ko nakita kong flat ito! nakakainis!!! kung kelan antok na antok na lahat saka pa nag-inarts yung gulong ko. ang hirap pang palitan, nasungitan ko pa yung kawawang manong na tumutulong sa amin. di bale pagbalik ko dun ililibre ko sha ng kape! hehehe : ) nagkita pa kami ng mga college classmates ko dun pati sila tm dennis , sme espi and friends. matapos ang lahat ng ito hinatid ko na sila. dumating ako sa haus at around 1230am. at sa sobrang pagod ko tulog kagad... ZZZzzzz so, there.

MY SWEET THANG!

i really like this song from mary j. blige. i already heard this song a long time ago but was only able to appreciate the lyrics when i heard it sang by gabrielle union and ll cool j in their movie, DELIVER US FROM EVA.

obviously, i dedicate this song to someone i know. hehehehe someone who's not mine and can't deny it!

SWEET THING

I will love you anyway

Even if you cannot stay

I think you are the one for me

Here is where you want to be

I just want to satisfy ya

You're not mine and I can't deny it

Don't you hear me talkin' baby

Love me now or I'll go crazy

Whou ohh, Sweet thang

Don't ya know you're my everythang

Whou ohh, Sweet thang

Don't ya know you're my everythang

Yes you are

I wish you were my lover

But ya act so undercover

Love ya child my whole life long

Is be right or be wrong

I'm only what ya make me, babyDon't walk away,

Don't be so shady

Don't want your mind,

Don't want your money

These words I say, they may sound funny but...

You are my heat, you are my fire

You make me weak with soft desire

Love ya child my whole life long

Is be right or be wrong

I just want to satisfy ya

Cause you're not mine,

I can't deny it

Don't ya hear me talking baby

Love me now or I'll go crazy

You're my heat, you are my fire

You're not mine, I can't deny it

Don't you hear me talking baby

Love me now or I'll go crazy

whatever will be, will be

Nung bumisita ako sa doctor ko last week, natawa ako sa comment nia nang makita nia akong muli sa clinic nia; “ija! Four years later, you’re here again!” … ganda di ba? Sabi ko nga sa kanya; “oh well, I wish I never had to go back but, here I am!” anyhow, though kinakabahan ako sa tuwing ico-confirm nia lahat ng tanung ko sa kanya [yes, I have been reading about alopecia through the internet in the office], todo-smile ang lola nio. Ang ending ayun, 7 shots of some kind of steroid to irritate my scalp and force to grow hair. I’ll be doing that in the next 2 months for 3000Php each session along with creams na ipapahid ko sa ulo ko everyday. Ang effort no? at ‘di lang yun isama mo na rin yung everyday na takot ko dahil sa tuwing babangon ako sa kama ko may buhok na naiiwan o kaya kahit nakaupo ako o nakatayo bigla na lang may mahuhulog na buhok. Mental torture ito. Pero I’m really trying hard not to think about it kasi baka lalong maging dahilan yun para maubos ang crowning glory ko. Hay enough na nga yan.

Matgaal-tagal ko na ring hindi nababanggit ang prinsipe ng buhay ko. Yuck. Ngayon parang it sounds ridiculous. Hahaha. Siguro unti-unti na akong nauuntog at nagigising sa katotohanan. good for me ! : ) I’m not saying that my heart no longer skips a beat whenever he calls or whenever he’s around, but the more I think about the idea of me and him – it’s just impossible. Way impossible. Kaya huwag na lang. Or I think it’s better to say, whatever will be, will be. Right?!

that's LIBERTY fOr me!

ang tagal ko na nga naman na walang post. eh kasi naman wala akong maisulat.

pero dahil sabi ni tenten magsusulat na ako uli. haaay. less than 30 days na lang ang ilalagi ko sa office. grabe after 15 months, it finally hit me. "tigil na tOnya, hindi ka na masaya." yan ang laging nasa isip ko for the past few weeks. i'm excited pero scared din. excited dahil finally i'm going to be free of every reason why i'm feeling depressed, exhausted and shit. scared kasi i'm about to lose money. how am i going to live eh wala naman akong naipon... naririnig ko na tuloi ang mommy ko: "i told you, mag-ipon ka na..."

ayoko namang isipin nila na i'm blaming LIBERTY for all these, because i am. CHOS. hindi naman lahat sa work ko sinisisi. siguro i have issues of my own. kaya nga timing na timing ung entry ni tenten and josa about midlife crisis. nakaka-relate ako. i'm torned between money and career. kasi naman pag-sinunod ko ang aking dreams, walang money pag nagtagal naman ako dito may pera nga ako, ipapang-ospital ko nga lang din. haaaay hanglabo men! minsan nga sabi ko gusto kong ma-COMA ng mga 2 weeks tapos gigising ako ulit. pero ang morbid naman, chaka hindi naman 'ata healthy ung ganun. whatever.

kaya nga i'm thankful kasi i have my friends and family to help me get through this stage of my life. wish ko lang pagnatapos nga lahat ito may buhok pa akO. i have alopecia areata, wag naman sanang maging alopecia universalis and by the term i think you know what's the worst thing that can happen. i just laugh about it though. ayoko na lang isipin. but to all my friends who's reading this thanks a many hokei?! i love you guys.. naks ang drama.

so, there.

some random thought.

70% friendship and 30% love.
What was that? Should I say a formula my good friend made up? Haha. Well, kinda’. Actually, he mumbled these words to me when we are talking on a Thursday afternoon. Kailangan daw kasi sa isang relationship, mas lamang ang pagiging magkaibigan kaysa sa pagiging maka-ibigan. Haneeep… was I mesmerized by that?! Hehehe but seriously, I found myself agreeing to that proposition. Totoo naman kasi and I know a lot of people will agree to this too. But in my case it’s going to be 60% friendship and 40% love. Para naman kasing sobrang baba ng 30% for love. Napaisip tuloy ako, when will I ever have that? I mean kahit nga 10% love na lang. Oh well, may ba after 4 consecutive leap years pa.* knock knock knock * wag naman sanang ganun katagal. Baka may asawa na ung baby sister ko mag-boboyfriend pa lang ako. Hehe.