2008!!!

I don't know what is this, but I feel really good about this year. And now that it is 2008, I am looking forward to a LOT this year. Maybe it's because I am starting the year right. hehehe Basta. hihihi I hope this is going to be MY year. Happy New Year everyone!!! :P

Year 2008

Hmmm, I can say that 2007 was not my year at all. But I'm happy that it was - for some people that I love. But that's fine, it made me look forward for the coming year. I really wish, hope and pray that 2008 will be my year! (Please?! hehehe) Sabi nga sa Chinese Zodiac, the year of the earth rat is the best time to move forward and start anew.

I think it's telling me something. hahaha Oh well, I can't wait!!!

A random thought.

All these years.

AYOKO NA.

Please?!

GALIT NA GALIT AKO

IBALIK NIO ANG PERA KO NGAYON DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I NEED MONEY RIGHT NOW AND DO YOU KNOW HOW UNHAPPY I AM??????? DO YOU FEEL MY ANGER?????!!!!!! ABA. BUTI NAMAN. KASI I AM REALLY, REALLY MAAAAAAAD. I HAD IT. I JUST HAD IT WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I PRAY TO GOD THAT HE GIVES ME ONE MORE CHANCE AND WHEN HE DOES, I WILL START ANEW.

Sick and Tired.... and BORED!!!

It has been 4 days since I went to the doctor and was ordered not to go anywhere besides my bedroom and the kitchen. hehehe Seriously, I was on total bed rest for the rest of this week until next week, well until all (Lab) tests are done. Believe me, it was cool at first but as time progresses, I was actually thinking of buying all the dvds in Imus just to get through one day, plus I really can't sleep well because it's at night when it strikes the most. I feel very tired and exhausted and I always catch my breath that I would just cry myself until the Holy Spirit lets me sleep. Good thing my brother is always here to take care of me. If he hears that I am in pain he'd immediately check on me in my room and bring me anything that I need. hehehe I have a personal nurse. My back is already aching like crazy. I can't tell if it's because I cough so much or because I lie on the bed too much. Oh God. It's really hard!

I wish that I get well. I'm pretty sure I will, ako pa! But in the last 4 days I've been having doubts in my capabilities of overcoming this. I still need to go through some series of tests next week to see what's really wrong with me then the verdict. I'm sooo scared right now I might cry but I won't (hehe gulo). I have to face everyday like a normal day. Besides at least I can get to rest :)

And oh, I didn't wish for any of these to happen to me.

WANTED: A Friend.

So, I was up and about last Thursday. I went home early, as in super early (don't ask.) Then went to sleep after like a couple of episodes on Charmed Season 8. Then woke around 12 noon to get ready to go to People Support to get my back pay. Yeah after gazillion years I finally had it. And it was not the amount I was expecting as it was too low. My God, I worked my ass there for almost 4 years and that's how they will repay me. Oh well, I don't even want to divulge how much because it's so not worth it. Anyway, I was too tired to argue and signed the quit-from-the-company form and that's it! I'm done with PS. Goodbye forever. Anyway, that's a whole different story. Plus, I don't want to dwell on it since I've got more pressing issues to deal with. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

So where was I? Oh, so before I went to People Support, I texted and or called like 20 or more people on my phonebook wondering if they can go malling or have coffee with me, since I don't want to waste my "Thanksgiving" night sleeping. But you know what? As in none of those people are available. NADA. I mean for someone who has TONS of friends, surprisingly not one of them are available. Well, except for EL who went to Starbucks with me to have coffee and chat a little to catch up. Either they have other plans or they don't want to go because of an errand, or they just don't want to go period. It felt like that I run out of friends that day - LITERALLY. Of course being the over analytical thinker that I am, I had lots on my mind that are not to good to even shere here and made me really, really, really sad. I mean, for someone who has never been alone in all my life, this is the first- no actually the second time that it happened. Like I said to my self the other day, it's 2001 all over again. I got no one while everybody else is busy having the time of their lives or are just plain busy. Hey, I have nothing against ALL my friends. I swear, to all of you I know you are all happy and have lives to live and I respect that. I am truly and sincerely very happy for all of you, I swear to God. But sometimes I just can't help but feel sorry for myself when these things happen to me. I don't know maybe this is God's way of telling me to be strong-er. Or He's just preparing me for my future - my destiny. Oh I don't know. My destiny to be alone forever. Ok, I can hear someone murmuring I'm too melodramtic. But who knows? That might just happen. But hey, this happened 6 years ago and I survived it, so I guess this wouldn't hurt. Oh whatever. My point is, I just don't know what to do, I'm scared and I am so not used to this. But! I don't have a choice, don't I?

But for whatever it's worth, talking to EL just made me realize about a couple of things and he unconsciously validated some of the things that I have trouble accepting. He was able to unconsciously help me in ways he may never realize. So EL, thank you! :) Have fun with Lisa, and keep on walking those 10,000 steps (in Glorietta or Greenbelt...) a day! hahaha

I don't now why I keep on doing this to myself, though I know that these causes sleepless nights, headaches and heart burn. hahaha Go figure. Whew! This has got to stop, well that's what I keep on telling myself but for some reason I can't.

But one thing I remembered before, I survived because of friends. And I think that's just what I need. A friend.

So there.

Sick

I feel sick today.

I really can't tell if I am sick of my life or my work or I'm just sick period.

And the christmas songs played in malls are not helping..... Haaaaaay.

So there.

NOSTALGIA

I feel nostalgic today.

I miss those times na hindi pa komplikado ang buhay ko. Lahat masaya. Nung times na ang kakapal pa ng mga kilay namin nila Tina. hehehe Nung nag-aala Jolina Magdangal ako sa hairdo. Nung siga pa si Yheng sa school pero hearthrob naman. Nung "darag queens" pa si Mhia at si Olai. Nung goody-two shoes pa ako, si Abby at si Tsiki. Nung mahirap hagilapin si Marj. Hmmm hanggang ngayon naman mahirap hagilapin yun eh. hahaha

Nung times na wala kaming inatupag kungdi mag-aral (NAKS) at manuod ng basketball sa gym. Nung times na hate na hate namin ang klase ni Mr. Eng. Nung takot na takot kami kay Ms. Mariano dahil nuknukan ng terror. Nung time na never ending ang lecture notes ni Mr. Gabriel sa Chem. At shempre pa ang kainan sa Audio-visual room na kala mo nanunuod ng sine. hahaha Yung time na bago pumasok at bago umuwe eh tatambay muna kina Kuya Tony para kumain. WAAAAAAAAAAH. Those were the good 'ol days. Simple lang pero rock.

At ngayon, as in today... well, ito surviving. Wala lang naisip ko lang kasi narinig ko ang "theme song" (oo na baduy na kung baduy) ng barkada:

"Count on me through think and thin
A friendship I will never end
When you are weak, I will be strong
Helping you to carry on
Call on me, I will be there
Don't be afraid
Please believe me when I say
Count on..."

So there.

SKRIP

Ano ka ba naman? Alam mo naman na hindi habambuhay eh may kasama ka noh?

Alam ko naman yun, ang akin lang sana naman meron sa oras na kailangan ko.

Eh alam mo naman pala eh ano palang ine-emote mo diyan?

Wala... parang ang unfair lang kasi.

Alin na naman ang unfair?

Bakit sila lang eh paano naman ako?

Alam mo, labo mo. Tandaan mo dapat sa buhay matuto kang tumayo mag-isa dahil sooner or later wala ka ng ibang kakampi kungdi sarili mo. Ngayon kung pati sarili mo kalaban mo na rin, aba eh kawawa ka naman.

Weh, sabi ko nga.

Ayan diyan ka magaling, pag alam mong tama ako ganyan na lang ang nasasabi mo, sana nakikinig ka, hindi yung pasok sa kanang tenga tapos labas din sa kabila. Bale wala.

Eh hindi naman ninyo ako naiintindihan.

Kasi ang gulo mo magpaliwanag.

Sorry lang.

Piece of advice, no man is an island pero hindi sa lahat ng panahon may kasama ka, dadating ang panahon na kailangan mong lakarin ang buhay ng mag-isa.

Fine.

Bahala ka nga jan!

~ hahaha pwede na bang script writer?.

Dasal

Lord,

Nawa'y kayanin ko pa.

Amen.

Friendster Horoscope for November 5, 2007

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)

The Bottom Line

The level of romance in your life is about to go up, up, up! Anything is possible.

In Detail

A hot romance that is going on in someone else's life could be causing you to turn a bit green with envy -- but why? Take a look at what you've got going on right now and you'll soon see that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Stop obsessing about what is missing from your life, and start appreciating what you have. You have a lot, and there are plenty of people who wish they were you. Your time will come, but in the meantime you must live in the moment.

~ayan, ang mga bituin na ang nagsasabi. Fine.

PANGARAP KO.

Hindi na 'ko pinapatulog nito. Parati ko shang naiisip. Mahal ko na sha.

FRIENDS

... Can't you depend on me?

I want to laugh with you when you laugh..

When you're happy, I want to be happy with you...

When it's hard for you, I want to share the burden.

When you're in pain, I want to cry with you.

That's what a friend is, right?! Am I wrong?

~Mizuke

The battle between patience and pragmatism rages on today, without resolution.

Friendster Horoscope for October 26, 2007

The Bottom Line

The battle between patience and pragmatism rages on today, without resolution.

In Detail

Your heart wants one thing in your life right this very minute, but your head knows that it might not happen for a while. The battle between your impatient side and your pragmatic side will rage on today, with little (if any) resolution. This tension could cause you to lash out unusually at people who try to push your buttons. You will probably tell yourself it serves them right for trying to get you riled up, but in the end if you add to the animosity you aren't doing yourself any favors.

~VERY TIMELY.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The movie's title was derived from a line of a poem by Alexander Pope entitled Eloisa to Abelard.

...How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

The movie was ok. It was not as good as I expected it to be but nevertheless I appreciate it. Sabi nga ni Jenjen, it wasn't the movie itself that made her watch this film but the procedure that was done on Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, so naenganyo naman si Ako. hehehe Sabi nga sa tagline ng movie na ito: "This film is for those with a past they'd rather forget." Very catchy most especially for people like Jenjen and me. hahahaha So in short I went out looking for this film and as I said in my previous posts, I'll watch it. And I did. Yesterday before going to sleep. Inferness nakakatouch although medyo hindi sha ganun kaganda or malamang hindi lang ako marunong mag-aapreciate ng mga movie na hindi normal ang set-up. hihihi

As I was watching the movie, shempre iniisip ko sana nga totoo ngang may ganung procedure yung ipapa-bura mo sa isip mo ang isang tao o kahit anong pangyayare sa buhay mo tapos pagkagising mo from the procedure eh para talagang walang nangyare or wala kang nakilalang taong ganun. But as the movie progresses, I came to realize kahit ano pang pagbubura ang gawin sa utak mo if you are bound to meet the person ganun din, uulit lang. Gets nio?! hehehe What I mean is, halimbawa magpapabura ako sa alaala ko na isang tao na ayoko na makasalamuha sa habang buhay (hehehe, may poot?!) and let's say sucessful naman. Then one day makikita ko sha diba na hindi ko na sha kilala pero since he's (HE talaga hahaha) the same person, at alaala ko lang (sa kanya) naman ang nabura at hindi ang yung posibility na umulit yung naramdaman ko sa taong yun before eh di uulit lang ulit. So in effect, ganun din. Gumastos pa 'ko kamusta naman. hehehe So dapat idagdag sa procedure eh patayin din yung taong pinabura mo sa isipan mo. Davah?! hehehe Joke lang, morbid naman mashado. Well I guess what I'm trying to say is why risk and go through a procedure to forget someone when infact you know deep inside your mind and heart that, that person will always be a part of your life wether you like it or not at nasa iyo ang powers to set him/her aside of your life and move forward. Am I making sense? hahaha Oh well.

I'm glad I watched this film, may naidulot namang maganda sa akin. :P

Jemai's Work of Art (@our expense!)

We all know that Jemai has a knack for art and being creative. Kaya lang minsan yung pagiging creative nia eh kaming mga friends nia ang nagiging biktima! ahahaha Sometime 2005, ginawa nia 'tong mga spoof ng mga print ads. Ayan. hehehe Inferness ha, magaling.

Sana mahanap ko pa yung ibang ganito. hehehe

Thanks to Tenten for the picture, ninakaw ko sa isa sa mga blog posts nia. hehehe Grabe laugh trip kung laugh trip talaga.

Paint lang dati ang ginagamit ni fren well, well, well, ngayon photoshop na.

So there. :P

BESTINA

Wish ko lang mag-open ka ng Multiply mo para naman makita mo ito.

First of all, Happy, happy birthday to you!!!

Second, a BIG thanks to you for your love and friendship all 11 years of our lives. Aba eh sino naman ang mag-aakalang tatagal tayo ng more than a decade?! ahahaha Yuck isang dekada na ang nakakalipas!!!

Third, alam ko namang wala ka nang mahihiling pa ngayon sa buhay mo. You are very happy and I'm happy for you. You are blessed with a wonderful family and a loving husband. At shempre pa si Tia turtle! :P

All these years you have been a part of my life, we had our share of good times and shempre pa our short comings and I'm glad na nalalagpasan naman natin lahat yun. I am looking forward to many years more ahead of us. Sana dumating naman yung time na ako na yung binibigyan mo ng pointers sa panganganak. hahaha

Halabshuuu BESTINA. mwah. Friends for keeps.

The End.

Hay... So my "vacation" officially ended last friday. I'm now on my restday and I will be reporting to work (again) tomorrow night. I'm about to teach Class 5. BRING IT ON!!! I'm not excited to go back BTW. hehehe But I know I will die (literally) kapag hindi pa ako bumalik. I just realized that I am really bound to work my ass off if I want to survive the journey they call LIFE. Seriously.

Anyway, so a lot of my office friends are asking me how am I spending slash enjoying my "vacation". I always tell them it's not too shabby. First of all, like I metioned before, I don't have money to go somewhere fabulous, second... hmmm actually sa first reason ko pa lang damay-damay na lahat. hahahaha However, at least I am able to do and accomplish a few things that I can never attend to kapag may pasok ako.

Let's see how I spent those 5 sweet days...

Monday
I woke up early to go to the bank and have my check encashed. I met up with the "love birds" and ate breakfast after at Heaven and Eggs in G4. Buti na lang wala pang mga pagsabog na naganap nung mga panahon na yun. hehehe Then, since nagccrave kaming tatlo (mai, ced and moi) sa Krispy Kreme, we headed to Greenhills and ate KK there. SARAAAAP. Shempre malling here and there hanggang sa mapagod. But since I didn't have car that time, I can't go home ng mga 4pm. Masstuck lang ako sa traffic. Huwag na lang, so nagpaiwan na lang ako sa greenhills and I shopped by myself Buti na lang Jenjen went there. So we ended up buying the whole place. hahahaha EXXAGE. Joke lang. We shopped, ate, yosi and coffee there until around 915pm. I went home na pagod na pagod so I just slept. hahaha

Tuesday
Dapat punta ako sa LTO to have my DL renewed. Pero tinamad po ako mga friends! hahaha So i just stayed sa house and watched tv. Tapos natulog lang ng natulog. hahaha

Wednesday
I spent like half a day sa LTO. I also spent P150 for Drug test (negative btw, hehehe) P100 for medical exam and P277 for the liscence and other penalties. It was worth it kasi I got the ID agad. Then afterwards I went to SM Bacoor. Napabili na naman ako ng damit at libro. Grrr gastos! hahaha I also got my nails done.

Thursday
Sa wakas natapos ko na ang clearance ko and exit interview with PeopleSupport after 7 months!!! hahaha I woke up at 6am and I arrived there ng 9am, hintay ako ni Boss Ruel. hehehe I saw old friends and even my old station when I went there. Kakamiss inferness. Sayang hindi ko nakita ang Shared B trainers pero ok lang I'm sure magkikita-kita pa kami ulit, siguro pagnakuha ko na ang back pay ko. hahahaha I finished the clearance and exit interview a little early than I expected so I decided to swing by my old apartment and visited Pampam. Ayun kwentuhan galore kami about our lives. Catching up with the old times lang. Na-miss ko din ang apartment namin inferness, hay. Malapit lang ako sa malls at sa kahit anong galaan before. huhuhu Promise maghahanap na ako ulit ng apartment na close to work.

Then I met up with my bessie mai at Gateway to have a lunch date with him. Wala lang kwentuhan lang, picture picure, mawawala ba naman yun?! Tapos since ginagawa ang Starbucks Araneta (hehehe) Nag-dairy queen na lang kami. I bought a vcd copy of the movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind na up to this writing eh hindi ko pa rin napapanuod. hihihihi Again, I don't have a car that time so I had to wait till it's 9pm to go home na walang hassle ng trafik. I went home with Mai sa Tamblot (hahaha) then waited for him till he goes to work. In short sumama pa ako sa office. hahaha at buti na lang din dahil kamusta naman ang mga habilin ko parang walang nagagawa. hehehe Tapos I went home around 10pm. Ayun na nga dapat papanuorin ko sha pagkauwe ko kaso parang first part pa lang nung movie eh nakakabagot na. Maybe some other time na lang, hehehe.

Friday
Grabe nagising ata ako mga 1pm na. Pero good thing na rin kasi papunta naman si Best Tina sa Bacoor, therefore I can visit her there. I can't go to her in-laws kasi na walang dalang sasakyan eh, kamusta naman ang kalayuan. So, in short I went there and spent time with my Amerie and the whole Duenas household. Picture picture ulit. Sarap ng feeling, catching up with the old times and remenscing lang kami ni Tina. Talking about our lives and how fed up we are. hahaha Well inferness I really didn't have the heart to talk to Tina about my REAL sentiments kasi I don't want to bug her with my "dramas" anymore, she's super happy with her life and the least that I can do for her is to support and be happy as well. Hay so there. Pero enjoy talaga kasi sobrang madalang na kami magkita nun eh.

Then, when I got home from Tina's, shempre upload ng pics and all sa multiply ko, pero basta ang ending eh, nagpunta ako sa office because something is not happening. hahaha I'd rather not elaborate kasi nasstress lang ako. But everything is going well na this time (I HOPE) and sana wala ng aberya pagbalik ko bukas. PLEASE LANG.

So there. Yun lang, hehehe hindi sha talaga bakashon but I enjoyed doing things na pang normal na tao. hahaha As if. And I enjoyed sleeping at night and wide awake kapag may araw. Haaaay kelan kaya mauulit ito?

Friendster Horoscope for October 20, 2007

The Bottom Line

When your schedule frees up, check out that foreign film no one else wants to see.

In Detail

When your schedule frees up and presents you with a great big chunk of free time (and it will) today, be sure you have a good way to use it up! Try not to fritter away the hours with mindless channel-surfing, shopping or napping. You need a fun escapade you can enjoy by yourself. Take yourself to a nice dinner. Check out that foreign film no one else wants to see. Go get a massage. Whatever you do, try to use your extra time to treat yourself extra nice.

~Well, I think I need to follow what the stars are telling me to do.

...

I think I need to go back to work or else I wouldn't think twice on the thought of killing myself.

:(

Sometimes I just wish I was never born.

SABI NILA

Sabi nila be patient... Sabi nila HE'LL just come my way... Sabi nila dadating din sha when I least expect it, in an unexpected time and place... Sabi nila kasi naman it's too early for me... Sabi nila wala naman daw kasi akong ginagawa... Sabi nila hindi naman daw kasi ako lumalabas... Sabi nila mashado lang daw akong atat... Sabi nila mag-enjoy muna ako sa buhay ko... Sabi nila it's not yet my time... Sabi nila I'm not yet ready... SO, WHEN WILL I EVER BE???!

Lisenshado!!!

Finally! After 4 months of driving the streets of EDSA eh may lisensha na ako ulit!!! Yahooooo. Pwede na 'ko mamviolate ng traffic rules and regulations. hahaha JOKE lang. Anyhoo,I woke up around 7am to go to Imus LTO. Inferness hindi naman ganon ka-hassle although mas mahaba ang waiting time ngayon. It was worth it kasi I already got my DL ID! Dati you will have to wait for like half a year to get it eh... Haaaay. And I would like to thank those wonderful people in the Clinic (for medical exams) and they guy in the Drug Testing clinic for being very accomodating and friendly. Ang bwiset eh yung nasa picturan, hay nako kahit kelan talaga mga tao dun parang mga ewan, kasalanan ko bang maraming tao ang nagpapa-renew ng lisensha?! Oh well. Ayan ampanget ko tuloy sa lisensha ko. Hahaha at 3 years ulit bago 'to mapapalitan so there. :P

So, right after LTO, I went to SM and bought myself some stuff (ayus, kala mo daming pera) then I ate lunch and went home na rin. Grabe ngayon my head hurts. As in throbbing sha. I don't know what happened. I bought a book btw. Hahaha sana matapos ko sha, kasi naman 3rd day pa lang ng VL ko nauubusan na 'ko ng gagawin. Tomorrow morning I'll go to PS for clearance and exit interview then visit Dra. Calcena for tooth extraction. Then hopefully on Friday I can sleep over kina Tina. I wanted to watch the Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind... very timely kasi. Kaso ito namang si Tenten eh sinabi naman ang ending, kainis.

So far nageenjoy naman ako sa VL ko kasi nagagawa ko yung mga bagay na hindi ko magawa pag may pasok. I just wish that when I go back to work, rejuvinated na 'ko. Believe me, I'm really trying to motivate myself and convince myself na I'm doing good, that I'll be fine. Pero sometimes, it's really hard to put a big fat smile on my face kasi I know deep inside me I'm slowly dying... Ayun na drama na. Hay manuod na lang kau ng Apat Dapat; Dapat Apat. I SWEAR. Laugh trip talaga na may halong unting drama.

Hay, so there.

Temporary Freedom

Hay. Sa wakas. I'm (temporary) free from the hula baloos of the office. I'm excited. Finally I have time to do all the things that I want to do na hindi ko magawa-gawa kasi I'm sooo caught up with work. Nangunguna na jan ang pagpaparenew ko ng driver's liscence! ahahaha Sana walang MAPSA or BLUE BOYS na makabasa nito pero my liscence was officially expired since my birthday so nung June pa. hehehe Sorry naman. I'm not so very proud of it noh, pero ewan ko ba just thinking of the long line at mahabaaaaang waiting time sa LTO eh tinatamad na 'ko chaka please lang, the only time I have para gawin yun is after shift ko... so 7am onwards. Wag na lang... ahahaha but since I have all this week to do that I think before going back to work eh I can violate traffic rules again. hahahaha JOKE LANG.

Well I have a list of some things that I would like to do this week, nothing special though. Una sa lahat wala naman din akong money to go somewhere fabulous. So next best thing is to stay na lang in my fabulous room here in my parents' house. hehehe Pero malamang I'd stay a night or two with Tina, Tia and Atong. Ahahahah Sabit na naman ang inyong lingkod... Sayang I wanted to go somewhere pa naman but what can I do? haaaaay. I also plan of finally accomplishing my clearance and exit interview with PS, kasi medyo 7 months na 'kong resigned dun eh... hehehe And to get my back pay in time for christmas. SHOPPING! Syet. I promise myself that I will splurge and buy things for myself naman for a change. hehehe

Sunday slowdown ngayon, sarap mag-emote nito! hehehe Pero malamang makatulog lang ako. Or not. Baka topakin ako at umalis akong mag-isa, hay bahala na.

SUKLAM MODE

Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiirita na naman ako to think na ang saya saya ko pa before going here. SYET.

Someday

Sabi nga nila the saddest song ever written...

I need to stay away from sharp objects when I hear this song. haha

Someday

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see through my eyes
But then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i can't

I know
You dont really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well i've got news for you
I know i'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

But now
I know you can't tell
I'm down,and i'm not down anyway
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

And my 2:00 AMs will never be the same again....

Hahaha ok lang! Kasi 10:00PMs naman (or minsan 9pm hahahaha)

So there.

My life begins at 2:00AM!!!

Basta. hehehe

and I quote...

So I was watching FRIENDS (yup, again. for the NTH time) and everytime that I do, I always get something that would really get me into thinking. hahaha Oo na I always get these tv shows way too much in my head but can I help it? Now that I had to deal with a lot of stuff and sadly I don't have anyone to say it to... well not because I don't have friends... It's just that I don't want to bug them with my sentiments and dramas anymore. Anyhoo, going back...I heard a statement which Rachel said to Ross: "SOMETIMES, THINGS DON'T WORK OUT THE WAY YOU THOUGHT THEY WOULD..." and you can call me crazy but that's when it hit me. Hard enough to realize that what I have been crying for the last couple of months isn't worth it. Not a single tear. This is pretty basic and I know this for a fact even way, way back but then sometimes even the most fundamental thing could be forgotten and I guess I just needed a little reminder.

There could be times that you would get obsessed with what you want and what you want to happen when in fact you know deep in your heart that you won't always get the exact same thing. It's possible but there's a chance that it won't. Not to dampen your spirit and be discouraged but to make us stronger and strive harder. Ayan, nagsusulat na naman ako na ako lang ang nakakaintindi sa sinasabi ko ehehehe. Anyway I kind if need to let it out. Sabi nga ni Joe D Mango... Sometimes, letting it out can make a big difference. hahahaha Yeah I could hear Ice sayin... "Too much tv drama for you!!!!"

So there.

I WANT!!!!!!!!!!

I'm obsessing with these two items up there. Kaya lang mukhang matatagalan pa na mapasa akin. huhuhu Pero kung balak nio akong regaluhan sa Pasko or kahit early birthday gift (TIGAS!) tatanggapin ko ng maluwag sa puso ko. Kahit wag nio nang ipa-gift wrap :P

Pesteng Pick Up. :P

Although I didn't get much sleep yesterday ( I slept about 2 hours lang...) and after shift earlier we have to wait for 4 friggin' hours for our pay checks not to mention another hour to encash it, well sinama ko na ang travel time at hintay sa pila... hehehe aba eh hindi pa rin ako makatulog!!! I arrived here at home around quarter to 4pm and only God knows why, I'm still wide awake! Hmmmm malamang may umiisip sa kin... sinetch kaya?!! Ahahaha (Berks! Walang magrereact, I'm sure you can read my mind... Hehehe) I still have to go to work later at least before 9pm. Waaaaaah. So goodluck naman sa akin later. Good thing there's coffee.

So after namin magpapalit sa bank, we (TONI, MAI, GING, ICE, MARC and JEROME) all decided to eat at Super Bowl in Glorietta. As usual, tawanan, asaran at anu pa nga ba eh di picturan. Check Jemai's and Ging's multiply for the pictures. And please leave comments. hahahaha Malamang magnakaw na lang ako ng pictures sa inyo ulit hahahaha. Yaan mo Grace unti na lang matutupad na ang pangarap kong jackpot! hahahaha

Share ko lang na muntik nang pumalya ang pick up kong mahal. Buti na lang nadaan sa himas at pakiusap. Ehehehehe Akala ko mastuck na kami sa G3 basement parking for life! Thanks Ging and Ice for not leaving me behind. Ayan, naging biktima na kau ng sasakyan kong mahal so that means you guys really are my friends (FOREVER) haha! Si Marc na lang ang hindi pa! Lagot. Wag naman sanang malala. Si Jemai?! Jusko, halos lahat ng mishap ko sa sasakyan eh kasama sha. hehehe Kaya tried and tested na yang bessie kong yan.

Yun lamang. Love you friends!!!

Aking Hiling by 3RD Avenue

Siguro nung sinusulat 'tong kanta na 'to, ako ang iniisip nung taong yun. Aba eh swak na swak.

*******

Bawat araw naghihintay
Kailan ka nga ba darating?
Paulit-ulit na tanong sa sarili

Bawat minuto’y kay tagal
Patuloy akong nadidiin
Umiiksi ang oras, di maibabalik

REFRAIN:
Kay tagal na naghintay, ngayo’y wala pa rin
Pag-ibig lang naman ang tangi kong hiling

Kay tagal na naghintay, ngayo’y wala pa rin
Pag-ibig lang naman aking hiling

Hanggang ngayo’y umaasa
Hanggang ngayo’y nananabik
Na kahit ‘sang saglit ako ay mapansin

Bawat minuto’y kay tagal
Patuloy akong nadidiin
Umiiksi ang oras, di maibabalik

(Refrain)

Bridge:
Ano pa ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Sana’y kahit minsa’y mapansin mo rin
Hanggang kailan ako magtitiis?
Kailan ka nga ba darating?
Pag-ibig lang lang naman aking hiling

(REFRAIN)

~Kamusta naman?!!!

Me Time

This entry is waaaay long over due. I was supposed to write about this nung June pa. Well, it's better late than never (ang peborit na palusot ng mga tamad at laging late hehe). Last June 3, 2007 I celebrated my 26th birthday. Yep! 4 years to go and I'm already 30 years old. Don't even start about asking how's my life going kasi it's not that good. hehehe Or so I thought. Anyhoo, so I celebrated it differently this year. Instead of drinking to death or going out or spend money on food, I spent it alone. I made my birthday my very first ME time in years! :D

I got up 530am June 3rd and headed to Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in Tagaytay and heard the 7am mass. I dropped by 711 - Tagaytay first and bought me canned coffee then went to the said church. Ang aga ko dumating, 630am yun, so nagtingin tingin muna ako ng mga rosaries. I bought one for myself. Cute! Peach and color chaka one mystery lang kaya lagi kong dala yun. F na F (feel na feel :P) ko ang pagsisimba ko nun since it's the first time I went to chrurch this year. I know, I know shame on me. But still I was so overwhelmed and I love the feeling.

Then after the mass, I went to Starbucks and spend like 4 hours there. Wala pa kong laptop nung mga time na yun kaya ang dala ko lang eh notepad and pen to scribble things on my mind. That's my way of releasing stress and tension I guess. And it made me feel better. I brought myself grande coffee frappe and a slice of chocolate cake, I'm not a fan of cakes but heck, what's a birthday celebration without a cake? Right?! I was also writing things that I would want to do and accomplish before I turn 27 next year. Hahaha goodluck! Umabot yata ng 63 things to do and accomplish yung listahan na yun... Oh well, we'll see.

Sabi ko uulitin ko ulit yun, well after 2 months hindi ko pa rin sha nagagawa. hehehe But I intend to, mahirap na baka maubos ang buhok ko sa stress.

SAKTO!

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

New Years, at the crack of midnight, under a windstorm of confetti.

What's Your Ideal Marriage Proposal?

Rainy Days

Umuulan na naman... Ibig sabihin panahon na naman ng pag-iinarte. Ano pa nga bang pinakamagandang gawin sa ganitong panhon bukod sa matulog? Eh di ba mag-emote?! Hay.

Minsan naiisip ko bakit ba hindi ako magsawa sa kakaemote? Eh alam ko namang nakaka-ubos ng lakas at nakakapagod sa isip yun? Siguro dahil na rin sa kawalan ko ng mabuting gagawin. Maniwala man kayo o hindi, may listahan na nga ako ng mga pwedeng gawin para maiwasan ang "emote mode" ngunit, subalit datapwat puro gastos naman ang mga ito. Nabibilang sa listahan ko ang pumunta ng malalayong lugar o di kaya naman mag-aral ng photography o mag-pintura ng kwarto ko at marami pang iba. O eh hindi nga ako mag-eemote nun butas naman ang bulsa ko! Talaga naman, watalayp.

Siguro sadya lang akong maarte. Mana ako sa nanay ko. hehehe

Inphonic video

Link

Urgh.

Well today is one of those days that I'd rather stick a ball in my eye kesa yung mafeel ito... But what can i do?! I'm only human. It's during these times that I would question myself : "What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I alone?" weh. Pesteng ulan. Kainis.

My Celebrity Look Alikes

DAD

I miss my dad. Not that he's not around, or he's somewhere else or he isn't with us anymore (UTANG na LOOB HUWAG NAMAN PO PLEASE?!), It's just that for the past few months we have been noticing some changes in him. From a very bubbly person that he really is, and I think now you know where I got my personality, he now seem to be this uptight person who always lets out a huge sigh followed by an "iling". Eversince he got fired by one of our clients he's been like that and to be honest I cannot blame him because that client was the most important client my dad ever had. That's our family's bread and butter. Maybe he's really worried where to get money for his family. He still have two kids to send to school, plus cars that he needs to finish paying and of course household budget. Good thing Michael and I are now working, at least we can somehow help our parents with some bills.

He suddenly became very fragile and we can't seem to talk to him about it because he'd get irritated. All he's doing right now is go to hid local clinets during daytime then around afternoon when he gets home he'd watch DVD until he falls asleep. *SIGH*

I wish evrything will go back to where it was before.Like the times that my dad will check our rooms if all 4 of us are inside the house. Times where he would just let me put tire black onto the tires of his car and get paid P500 per tire. GRABE NO?!Those times that I would smile my killer smile to get the latest cellphone I want. The times when he would crack jokes even in the middle of dinner. The times where we just talk about anything. Hay. He rarely joins us for dinner nowadays and it really breaks my heart. I hope I can do something for him.

So there.

Bad Trip

Wala lang. Gusto ko lang mag rant. NAKAKABADTRIP. Super as in to the highest level!

sulat-sulat lang...

“If you’re gonna go inside my head, you’ll get lost…” I suddenly blurted these words out to my new found friend. Right now my mind is lost. Maybe I am overwhelmed with what is happening with our life at this time. Maybe I’m just not used to having this kind of dilemma. Maybe I am not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe…

Shempre ang sagot ng nalilitong kaibigan ko… “Anong pinagsasasabi mo diyan?!” For a while, I had thought about what I said. But it is true. There’s a damn lot of things going on inside my head right now. Before what I’d do is write them on a paper and wouldn’t notice that I’ve scribbled around 6 pages of thoughts. Thing is, for some odd reason, I can’t do it now. I hate it.

At ngayon naman nagpipilit akong sumulat. I hate this day. It’s like my head is clouded with all these ugly notions that I hate to enumerate in this entry. What happened to me? I used to be this very happy and care-free person but now, ugh. I can’t even imagine how upset I am. And what’s more upsetting is that I no longer know how to deal with it. I hold back ANY feeling I have. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not sure how to react or I just want to let it go because I hate conflicts. Para sa akin kasi, kung kaya ko naman intindihin, iintindihin ko na lang para walang gulo. I’d talk to the person later on but that doesn’t do me any good simply because the time had passed. I mean the feeling isn’t there anymore. So what’s the point? Right? – yeah, maybe not.

This is just one of the many things I hate about myself. Believe me, I am one of the very few who are very hard to understand. I am not your ordinary girl.

Early Bird

I'm too early to be in the office. It's only 5.50pm and my shift isn't gonna start until 8pm. Ok fine, adik na kung adik. But hey, at least here I feel important. I feel needed. Haaaay. I know. PATHETIC. That's me.

I watched Devil Wears Prada (again!) thinking that i could get some fashion sense from my ever favorite Anne Hathaway. But no. Well first, I can't afford her clothes (in the movie) and second of all, i am far from being a size 6! hmft.

anyhoo, there's one line there said by Nigel that caught my attention and got me into thinkin. he said something about doing well in our careers could mean a screw up personal life -- well, something to that effect. I can say that i am doing pretty well with my career right now which i didn't see coming, not even in my wildest dreams... Which kind of explain why i don't have a lovelife. PERO KAHIT NA. even before all these hula baloos in my life right now i didn't have a boyfriend. But as they say, mas maganda kapag may sinisisi ka kasi mas justfied ang mga bagay. :P DIBA??!

The Days when Jemai still lOves me -- JPEG version

Since ayaw lumabas ng slideshow, pinagchagaan ku na lang shang i-copy paste. hehehe

so, there.

Randomness.

I realized a few things this week.

I realized that I can't live without an iPOD. When I sold my nano last week to get a new one, I didn't have an iPOD for a few days and man, I can't breathe. hahaha Just kiddin'. But I really felt odd. It's like not having my cellphone or not wearing clothes. I can't go mallin', I can't have coffee at Starbucks (alone), can't ride MRT or a bus to our planet (Cavite) without it! It's like my constant companion when I'm alone - my ALWAYS available friend. So, to cut the crappy feeling (eew.) I bought my long awaited iPOD video! YEY. I bought it with a good deal at Greenhills, thanks to Mai and Don. Now I can have a normal life again :D

I realized that I am way too caring. WAY WAY too caring. I honestly don't know if that's a good or bad thing. It's a good thing because people will see me as someone who they can rely on and someone who - simply put - CARES. It's nice to know when someone cares. It's feels good that there's one person who cares about us however it is bad when someone overdo it. But how do i know if I'm actually overdoing it? What if I am THAT caring? Well, I guess some people wouldn't really get that I am like that. If I care for someone, I do it the best way I know how. The thing is, some people I know thinks I am being nuts. But hey that's the way I am. If I care too much, that's because that person is super important to me otherwise all you'll get from me is a nod or two. hehehe

I realized that I shouldn't assume. NEVER assume. Never assume unless there's confirmation. And this goes to every aspect in my life that makes me assume! :D

I realized that I had become a very different person than I was a few years back. Promise.

I realized that although I became very different I still had that one trait I hate, I can't easily say NO.

So there. :P

Come Back Entry

Whoa! How long has it been since my last entry?

I just finished Day 3 of my class.

I am now with my new home somewhere here in Ortigas :D Yes, I already resigned from my beloved PeopleSupport. After more than 3 years, I finally left. I left physically but my heart will always be with all the people I have encountered in that center I use to call my second haven. Like what I told my friends there, I am forever grateful to PS because that's where I was honed and trained to become the person I am today. Thanks so much PeopleSupport!!!

And now I am trying to make a legacy here in PFSweb. I sure hope that one day PeopleSupport University will look back and say that I was once an apprentice, a determined learner of their organization. Gosh, looking back ten months ago I wasn't even sure of what I really want. But thanks to those people who believed in me I somehow spread my wings and flew. I will always have you in heart.

In the words (and intonation too...hehehe) of my former SHARED B team mates: "Thank you soooo much Manila!!!" :P

*Shared B for Life!