telebabad galore.

…Must be wondering what keeps me going for 4 hours [or more] on the phone? not during work, silly, but when I’m home supposed to be in slumber to get ready for work at 130am? Oh well, aside from the person on the other line -- *wink wink* it's because of the subjects that we talk about. Good thing is that we have the same interests. We jive kumbaga. J What are these subjects? Read on…

[*] DOGS

We are both pet lovers. Dogs in particular. He has 2 pugs and a German shepherd. He’s planning to buy an English bulldog and has a Pomeranian coming in. I have 2 golden retrievers, 2 rottweilers, 1 Labrador retriever and an incoming German shepherd! From dog food to dog shampoo, name it we’ve already talked about it. Well actually thanks to these dogs, dami naming napapag-usapan. J I’d learned that he makes money out of dog breeding. Actually sideline niya lang yun, he’s also managing their family business in Silang, Cavite. Winner da vah?!

[*] GRADESCHOOL, HIGHSCHOOL and COLLEGE MEMORIES

Would you believe that we went to the same schools from grade school to college? At magka-school bus pa kami take note. We both graduated elememtary in JGSS. But it took me ten years to find out where he actually lives. Kasi dati, pagpapasok, mauuna shang sunduin at pag-uwian naman una akong bumababa. Last year ko lang nalaman kung saan talaga sha nakatira when I met Pie’s husband, Eric. We are fond of talking about our memories [well, not memories together] from the past. Yung tipong, anung mga itchura namain dati, mga hilig sinong mga favorite teachers and all that. Funny thing is that though we went to the same highschool, in II, I never saw him there. Promise. Or malamang hindi ko lang talaga napansin. But I know I will remember if ever I saw him there. But the last time I checked my brain and searched for a time that I actually saw him walking the four walls of II, I was not successful. So, there. However, I remember seeing him when I was a junior in DLSU-D. One day, while I was walking the covered walk from gate 3 [that’s the gym gate] to gate 1, I saw a brown [or something to that effect] Gallant roaming the streets of the University. And there I saw him for the first time – again, and this time with a pretty girl seating in the passenger seat. And yes, the same girl that he is with at this time. [awwww, ang tagal na noh?!]

[*] DREAMS and GOALS

Aba’y akalain mo nga naman na meron pala shang dreams and goals? Haha. Anyway, I have learned that he wants to work in a call center. I said: “HUWAAAAAT? Are you outta yer head?!” J Well hindi naman sa gusto ko shang i-discourage but I was able to warn him about the good things and downfalls of working in this biz. I think he’s just fascinated about having a good pay. And shempre the chance to meet a lot of people [and girls]. J Wala pa naman daw shang balak mag-asawa. But he intends to – someday. But for now he wants to live life to the fullest, meet all the good people out there, go to places he never been to, work for someone and by that I mean in a company, breed an English bulldog and sell it for P40,000.00. and the most odd answer, find his TRUE LOVE. [hello?! I’m like, here… hahaha.]

[*] FAMILY

He loves his family dearly. Enough to take over and run the family business on his own. Panagalawa sha sa magkakapatid. Yung eldest sister nia died in a plane crash, yung sa cebu pacific some years ago? Un.

[*] PIE, ERIC and CIRE

Though lagi naman silang nagkikita-kita lagi niang kinakamusta sa ‘kin ung mag-anak na iyon. J lalu na si cire. Inaanak kasi nia yun.. ay! Ako nga rin pala. So mag-kumpare kami. Hehehe

[*] MY BESTFRIEND TINA

Tina is my bestfriend, but why in the world are we talking about her? It’s for obvious reasons. Hehehe HE likes her. So much. Just yesterday for 4 and a half hours, we had talked about tina’s likes and dislikes, panu sha matulog, anong favorite niang cologne, cake, color, perfume, flowers. Anung itchura ng dream house niya, ideal man. Kung ganu sha ka-clumsy and more. Haaay. Ako naman si gaga sagot lang ng sagot. Hey don’t get me wrong I actually enjoy answering those questions, [though tina might KILL me for doing this…hehehe] kasi nga at least may reason kami to yak for hours hahahaha. And I can tell na kinikilig sha sa tuwing may naririnig shang something interesting about my dear bestfriend. Sarap naman… oh well.

Last but definitely not the least, the LOVE of HIS LIFE.

And even if we never really talked about his girl the way we talked about tina, hindi pwedeng hindi niya mababanggit ito. For example, there was this one time I told him that I love carbonnara, he will immediately say na the best carbonnara daw was made by his girl. Things like that. There enough said.

…so, there. Kahit paulit-ulit lang ang pinag-uusapan I don’t mind listening. It’s music to my ears. Hahaha exaggerated. J oh well, I’m just enjoying this until it lasts. I’m sure one day I’ll get over this. Lalu na siguro pag-nagising na ako sa reality. J

and this weekend, guess where I’m headed? To Puerto gallera!!! With my batchmates at work. I hope he calls when I’m there. As if.

... omg! he called -- yup! AGAIN. i think it was around 4pm. i was sleeping but then i heard my SUN Cellular phone rang. and my heart leaped! kasi naman nobody calls me ng ganung oras sa phone kong yun kungdi isang tao lang. and yeah sha na nga un. haaaay nako. the reason why he called? wala lang daw, masaya lang sha. tama ba naman yun?! well, good for me. haha [i'm sooo bad.] so, we talked for about 2 hours. topics? same old. walang poknat na kwentuhan about dogs and all! but i'm not YET tired of hearing those stories kaya i'm all ears man! : )

ANG PRINSIPE KONG HINDI SA AKIN : (

ngayon ang gusto ko ay mag-isip ng ibang bagay. yung walang kinalaman sa trabaho kong mahal [uuugh]. yung tipong maisip ko pa lang ngingiti na ako kaagad. o sha sige na nga gusto kong isipin ang prinsipe kong hindi naman sa akin. haaaay. eh, ano ba naman kasi ang nagustuhan ko dun eh 1 inch lang naman ang tangkad sa akin? hindi lang yun, puro pimples pa. at higit sa lahat he's very comitted sa kanyang almost 5 year relationship. pero kasi kapag ngumiti na sha nawawala na ko sa sarili ko. kapag kinakausap niya ako pakiramdam ko, kaming dalawa lang ang tao sa mundo. haaaay. ano ba ito?
minsan nga nung tumawag siya sa akin, maliwanag pa lang nun pero nang matapos ang usapan madilim na. anung pinag-uusapan namin? wala. kung anu-ano lang. tungkol sa aso, sa sasakyan, sa pamilya ko at pamilya niya. minsan tungkol sa trabaho o tungkol sa pera. kadalasan tungkol sa babaeng mahal niya. aray ko di ba?! eh anu naman ang magagawa ko, at least may dahilan kami para mag-usap at may dahilan siya para gambalain ako sa tuwing matutulog ako sa umaga. haaaaaaay ulit.
paboritong araw ko ang linggo. bakit kamo? kasi hindi lang araw ito ng pahinga ko kungdi araw din na nakikita at nakakasama ko ang aking prinsipe kasama pa ng iba naming mga kaibigan. andyan yung pagdating ko sa tambayan, makaraan ng ilang minuto siya naman ang darating. at kahit 5 oras kami kung mag-usap sa telepono, nakukuha pa namaing pag-usapan ang mga iyon kapag nagkikita kami. saya no?
kailan kaya ako magigising sa kabaliwan ko? alam ko na 'tong ganitong pagkakataon eh. alam kong sa huli ay pagtatawanan ko lang ang sarili ko sa kagagahan ko ngayon o malamang umiyak na naman ako dahil masasaktan ako. naku! huwag naman sana yung pangalawa.

grumpy si tOni

... i was reading my profile.. the describe-myself-part? i saw a line there that said "i am a happy person." haha yeah right. siguro dati, hindi na ngayon. i mean i turned out to be the most grumpy person in the whole universe. i'm not proud of it of course. i hate it actually. it practically affects everything in my life. i can't go on a day without saying foul words to -- everything. korek! kahit sa bagay na wala namang buhay at hindi makakasagot, pag na-badtrip ako, goodluck kungdi mura, sumpa ang aabutin sa'kin. and i kind of feel uncomfortable about this. well, who wouldnt be?! GRRRRR.

first of all, i would like to thank my friends for posting their comments here. i love you all! [naks.] you guys are the reason why i'm still here sucking it all up. haha

during the holy week, nothing much happend. same old, same old. wala lang. but last saturday afternoon, i was able to hang out with myro, [pie and eric] in silang. i went there to see MULAN. she's my dog, a german sheperd. my dad bought it for me, she's only 1 month old, so i can't bring her home yet. i try to visit her during weekends when i have time. kasi excuse na rin un to see myrO. actually the whole idea of buying the dog from him was to have reasons to see and or talk to him. hehehe ang gastos ko mangarir no?! joke lang. gusto talaga ng daddy ko ng german sheperd. so, there.

whoa... it's been quite a while since my last entry. oh well, blame it to the wonderful customers of the wonderful liberty wireless! [yesss, kailangan dun talaga isisi ang lahat.]

actually i have been trying to write it's just that i always end up deleting everything because of frustration [sa work]. oh well, i think i just need a time off or a different environment.

you know what? i'm home alone this holy week. my family went to batangas, yes without me. but it's not because they don't want me to go but because of my [errr] schedule. edi sana may isusulat na 'ko dito. oh well, that's life -- MY LIFE.

i hope when i'm finally transferred to a different account i would feel different about my work, much more myself. because i have to say, it really breaks my heart leaving PS. i have friends here for crying out loud! but sometimes i think that if they really are my friends, even if i leave they will remain my friends, right? and another is my status here as an employee, i'm a regular employee for people support. been here for 16 months [whew! imagine? 16 months of bs-ing and run around - ing]. whatever.

enough of my dilemma [awww.] at work, i have life other than liberty wireless : ) oooops. did i say that out loud?! [i don't care, even the care bears don't care haha]

i just can't wait to get home. get some sleep and be me. i can't wait to go where i feel good about myself and where everybody else believes in me. yung lugar na walang nag-QQA sa sasabihin ko at gagawin. hehehe so, there.

8 pm. i'm on my way to makati and while i was driving down coastal road, i found myself crying. siguro dahil sa music na pinakikinggan ko or it could also be because of how i'm feeling right at this very minute. i am so frustrated. i know i have a choice, but i can't seem to figure out what i really wanted! grrrr. when will this end? siguro pag nakapag-decide na ako kung anong gagawin ko. all i wanted is to live a simple and happy life. yung tipong masaya ako sa ginagawa ko, anu ba ito? dati-rati gustong gusto kong mag-trabaho sa call center pero nang ma-try ko na parang ayaw ko na. considering the fact na napunta ako sa BS na account. haaay. whatever.

if only i can just fade away.

can u believe it? it's already the third month of the year! and still, nuttin significant happened in my so-called-LIFE. sheesh. badtrip. i am so fed up with my work and generally with how my life is going. i feel so incompetent [thanks to my failing QA scores], so bored, incomplete and unfulfilled. i dunno if i'm just having a mid-life crisis or hobby ko lang talaga na i-pressure and sarili ko. haaaaay. i need a break, a loooong break.

i'm quitting my job, i dunno if i'm making the right decision, but life is about taking risks right? honestly i'm not yet ready to leave but with the way things are going, i'm beginning to feel imma pain in the butt for my teamates. coz you see, i have the best teamates and supervisor. but because of my poor performance nadadamay sila. and i really feel bad whenever i get my ass whooped by QA!!! grrrr. i just wish if ever i'm gonna leave PS i'll never regret it.

i'm already 23 years old and i still can't figure out what i want to do with my life. i have plans but i honestly do not know how to bring them to reality. i feel frustrated and [ugly] each time i think about it. not only that, i'm starting to lose my self confidence. i hate it. ugh.

i just hope one day i can figure out what i really want and move on with my life. so, there.